The shipping battle lines are drawn. Even though most of the initial skirmishes have been polite, a greater battle brews…
YOU ARE: are a young, jellyfish-loving otaku, who’s not quite comfortable being social in the real world, but through some events or another, your latent ~uguu~ moe powers have been unleashed to devastating effect. But now the time draws near to make a choice. Do you choose to give your heart to the café-lounging, cross-dressing, hipster, Kuranosuke. Or do you give your heart to the still-a-virgin, career-oriented, politico Shuu?
The argument for:
- Never need to worry about whether this dress “looks good on you”, just trust in the ‘nosuke.
- You’ll always be hip, cool and in the know
- The ‘nosuke’s experienced in the sack, so no need to worry about that horrifying dual-virgin, OMG what did we just get into experience
- He knows and accepts the real you, and even gets along with your social nincompoop friends
- Life will always be fun and interesting
- He’s RICH, BITCH!
The argument against:
- He holds the relationship power, he could choose to be with any woman he wants at any time, and you’ll always know that
- You can’t go out for one, peaceful night without some gaggle of guys and girls trying to pick up the ‘nosuke
- You’ll always be the less cool person in the relationship
- He’s one creepy uncle bathhouse incident away from getting kicked out of the family and losing access to the fortune
- Wouldn’t really trust him to win a fight
- Traps don’t have a good history of being good relationship material
You have fun and are challenged in ways that you couldn’t imagine, go out for a few years, get engaged, but slowly realize he’s becoming distant. You then find out to your horror that he’s been cheating on you by having secret dalliances with other otaku and hikikomori women, who are even more of a challenge than you ever were, dressing them up and turning them into walking moeblobs. You realize as you wither away your childbearing years, alone, that you should’ve chosen Shuu all along, because it was foolish to think that one woman could ever hold down the ‘nosuke.
The argument for:
- He’s as pure as the first virgin snowfall of the season – just like you
- 30-year old virgin means, no one’s the wiser in bed
- You’ll have him falling head over heels over you in ways you could never do with Kuranosuke
- He’ll never cheat on you, and when found in compromising situations, he runs right back home
- Great opportunity to buy low, before Shuu inevitably ends up starring as the lead in a harem comedy
- He’s going to be even more RICH, BITCH!
The argument against:
- Is disgusted by the real you and is sort of a dick about it
- Explosive nosebleeds probably removes lighter colors from your wardrobe
- Requiring a makeover to impress him every time is going to be a real pain in the ass
- Not only do you have to worry about the dual-virgin, OMG experience, but there’s a chance that he may push you down and run away from you half naked
- I trust him even less than Kurako to win a fight
- Politics sucks the soul out of people, best evidenced by Emperor Palpatine’s disastrous nosedive
You go out for a few years, happily get married, have a child or two, and then as the years pass, you slowly realize that the love and soul has been sucked out of the relationship. You barely see Shuu, thanks to his political and work obligations, and haven’t shared a bed in years. The only time you get any play is when he comes home drugged by these vampish “career women” and you decide to “close the deal” while he’s passed out, since what the hell, someone should get off on it anyway.
I’m leaning towards Shuu right now. Although that might be because the trap stylings of the ‘nosuke has me confused. Do I want to ship Tsukimi off to Shuu, because I want the ‘nosuke for myself? Or do I want to become Kurako so I can take Tsukimi for myself?
Oh, and in case you were wondering, Kuragehime is a fantastic show. Just as expected.