Nyanpire the Animation: One Half Stupid Cuteness, One Half Unrelenting Terror

In a season packed to the brim with lolis, psychotic killing constructs originating in a mysterious Japanese village, and the Kaitou Tenshi Twin Angel opening, proving yourself extremely terrifying is a difficult feat to pull off. But Nyanpire has managed in its four minute runtime to pierce my solidly constructed psychological barrier and send me into convulsions of terror, waiting for it to end.

Nyanpire, if the title wasn’t expository enough, is a cat vampire who goes around doing cute things in an effort to act as much like a vampire as possible. In this case, he drinks a bunch of red liquid to satisfy a blood craving. It works, it’s cute, and it doesn’t overstay its welcome. If I had to sit down and watch this once a week with my inexplicably Japanese child while inexplicably in Japan, I wouldn’t be at all opposed to it. I’d be confused as to how I got to be in that situation, but I’d roll with it until the end of the animation itself.

However, the credits are nothing short of terrifying, showcasing what would happen if Dracula and Frank N. Furter were contracted to create something as LSD induced as possible to scare everybody who isn’t already dead.

It’s first and foremost a kids’ show, and that’s quite evident with how it’s handled. If you like cute cats doing cute things for two minutes, this isn’t a bad choice to take a couple minutes out of your busy work week to watch. However, I implore you, stop once the animation’s over. Nobody needs that trauma in their life.

There is no God...